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The Permanent Boy

from Array by Max Kutner

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Written on January 19, 2018.

I had a very skeletal note on my phone marked "The Permanent Boy" which contained some scattered, random lines. I remember typing this into the phone when I was in London on tour last November and the theme was inspired by my experiences with members of the opposite sex over the past forever.

The idea of being "permanent" is my way of saying that I know I'm not going to change despite undesirable outcomes, circumstance, etc and also viewing the condition of being open all the time as staying young-at-heart in life generally.

Again, I had intense trepidation about singing these words, let alone sharing them but reminding myself of insignificance often enough prompted me to put it out nevertheless. I also loved the idea of the song being a voicemail sent just a little too late hence the quality and aesthetic of the vocal track.

I am what I am and if you're reading this now, I thank you for making it this far.

lyrics

I am the permanent boy.
Walking an impertinent path
Trying not to let the brass tacks
Clutter up the larger map
Without a care in the world
Except your company
Maybe some promotion down the road
Should you look upon my efforts favorably
though an imperfect structure
It's the only glorious game
Any alternative pursuit
Would be a terrible shame

To me, the permanent boy.

Where did you learn
Where did you figure
Crossing my path, spelling my name
Sounding out the vowels and tripping every trigger.
Now I stammer for the meaning
And linger for the sound
Laughing hard all the while
Even though you're not around.
I said I'm permanent
I really meant it then
A look from you is all the same
Such a fatal compliment

To me, the permanent boy.

Now I'm still a permanent boy
Permanently impatient, I know.
Perfectly inappropriate as far as
Would-be suitors go.
Seems this'll be a passing thought
Barely worth a mention
An idea bouncing time to time
In my mind's terminal dimension
You've got to board your flight
It's not the time, I know.
Well, here's another scuffed little ember
To hold before you go.

From another permanent boy.
The permanent boy.

credits

from Array, released February 1, 2018
The main instrument was my Orpheus Valley classical guitar. I achieved the telephone-ish effect on my voice using filtering in Audacity. The slide underneath the second and third verses was done with my 2015 Tadic going into a Fender Deluxe with the reverb cranked.

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Max Kutner New York, New York

Max Kutner is a guitarist/composer currently based in Brookyln, NY.

Max has previously performed and/or recorded with the Magic Band (Captain Beefheart), Henry Kaiser, Mike Keneally, Sofia Gubaidulina, Ulrich Krieger, Alphonso Johnson, Don Preston, Lili Haydn, Oingo Boingo and many others. ... more

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